I Simply Can't Breathe.

City Journal Epilogue. Barcelona Past and Present - Spring 2010.

On January 13th I had my bags packed, my ticket ready, and was saying goodbye to my dad at the airport. As I was sitting waiting for my plane I had a million thoughts going through my head. Was I doing the right thing? What would it be like? Was I really ready for this? I couldn’t breathe for all the nerves I felt.

Barcelona felt something like an extended vacation for me at first. I saw all the amazing sights. I enjoyed a new variety of foods. I met new people. I tried out the language. I stayed up all night. I didn’t feel homesick once. I was in an amazing place, what reason was there to feel homesick? My nerves quickly disappeared and Barcelona became my life, and then, it became my love. One day along the way, my vacation ended. I couldn’t pin point when. Somewhere past the crazy nights out, the futbol games, the parks, the classes and the people. At some point Barcelona began to feel like home.

The sights had become part of my every day. Simply walking to class I couldn’t help but smile at all my beautiful surroundings - at my life. Routine kicked in. Mondays were Loco Lunes at Otto Zutz, Thursdays meant candy at the corner store, and Fridays meant being woken up early by the maids. I found myself frequenting certain places, finding favourites. I became a frequent visitor of Bo de B, and I fell in love with the quiet upstairs scene of El Born. I knew my way around and I knew where to go. But at the same time, the city kept surprising me with further secrets; there were still so many things I hadn’t discovered yet. I had become comfortable, but the city hadn’t become too common or too boring. I was addicted.

Today it is April 27th. My time in Barcelona is coming to an end. With two days of classes left and only 6 days remaining in this fabulous city I have begun to reflect. Barcelona is my city, and Onix is my home. I have created a family and a life here, and I have created memories that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I have opened my eyes to new customs and a new way of life. I have learned more than I could have ever imagined. My experience in Barcelona surpasses the sights and the language and the classes. My experience consists of life-changing friends from across the world, nights that ended with sunrises, days wasted laying in the ciutadella park, and journeys to new and amazing places. I have learned that things do not always go the way you want or the way you expect, but you must make the most of them. I have learned that every minute matters, and that nothing should be taken for granted. Barcelona has taught me many, many lessons.

As I begin to pack up my belongings and say my goodbyes I am reminded of that same feeling I felt on January 13th. I don’t know where life is going to take me yet. I don’t know if I am ready for another transition. I don’t know if I will ever feel this way about another city in my life. When I think about having to leave Barcelona, I simply can’t breathe.